How I Lost Myself in Motherhood

When I found out I was pregnant I thought I was prepared. I was prepared for my body to expand & grow. I was prepared for the sleepless nights that lay ahead. I was prepared to forgo a career to raise my child. What I was not prepared for however, was how I would lose myself in motherhood.

How I Became Lost After Becoming a Mother

Who am I?

At 19 years of age, I left home for the first time & headed off to find my way in the world.

Throughout my early 20s, I enjoyed a sense of freedom not seen before, but more importantly I discovered who I was & knew what I wanted out of life. I was happy & content. 

Becoming a parent

My son was born just shy of my 24th birthday. It was a planned pregnancy & I was so excited to become a parent. I decided to quit my job in order to be a full time mother &, although I faced the challenges all new mums face, it agreed with me. At first.

Losing Myself

As time went on, I began to struggle more & more with anxiety.

Family members began telling me that I wasn't the same person anymore &, at times, my relationship suffered. Despite this, I was adamant I could manage it alone.

I struggled for a few years, during which time I had 2 more children, both girls. After my youngest was born, I had an epiphany.

For the past 5 years, I had devoted my life to my children & while I loved them dearly, I realised I had lost who I was as an individual. I no longer had any hobbies, goals or aspirations. I had become a recluse & had lost a lot of friends along the way.

I had no idea who I was outside of being a mum.

Finding myself again through self care

I decided I had to do something to find myself & a sense of identity again. Not only for my wellbeing, but for the sake of my children & husband.

My first step was getting my anxiety under control.

I made an appointment with my doctor & decided on a course of treatment. This was the best thing that could of happened & I wish I would have done it sooner. 

With my mind clear & my anxiety under control I started to see myself again as someone other than just a mum. As an avid lover of all things beauty, I decided to adopt the old adage of 'look good, feel good.' 

I made it my goal of 2017 to take better care of myself. I invested in some nice skincare & makeup products, tried to get a decent amount of sleep each night & attempted to eat a balanced diet.

It's 9 months into the new year & I have come a long way. I am taking better care of myself & am slowly finding myself again. I am still a work in progress but I now have a sense of who I am & what I want for myself & my family.

Although my goals & aspirations have changed since my early 20s, I am once again happy & content. 

A Message From The Essential Life

If you have anything that you would like to add to the conversation, or if you have any questions or comments about what Essential Oils to use around Christmastime, please make yourself heard in the comments - we're listening. You can also connect with The Essential Life directly by contacting us here

We would also like to invite YOU to shape the future of The Essential Life by becoming one of our guest bloggers. If you would like to share your knowledge, or your story with The Essential Life community & you'd like to see your articles featured here on our website, please submit your articles here

Each blogs & articles that you share on the Essential Life will be attributed to you. We also include your bio & links to your website & social media with each article that you publish on The Essential Life. In addition, The Essential Life works tirelessly to support all of our contributors by promoting you on our own social media.

The Essential Life Contributor


Emma is a 31-year-old mother from the north coast of New South Wales, Australia.

She has a Bachelors degree in Business (Human Resources & Marketing) but has set aside work for the past 7 years to raise her 3 beautiful children.

Outside of the tears, tantrums & joy that is motherhood, Emma enjoys cooking, home decor & all things beauty related.