How I Lost Myself in Motherhood
When I found out I was pregnant I thought I was prepared. I was prepared for my body to expand & grow. I was prepared for the sleepless nights that lay ahead. I was prepared to forgo a career to raise my child. What I was not prepared for however, was how I would lose myself in motherhood.
How I Became Lost After Becoming a Mother
Who am I?
At 19 years of age, I left home for the first time & headed off to find my way in the world.
Throughout my early 20s, I enjoyed a sense of freedom not seen before, but more importantly I discovered who I was & knew what I wanted out of life. I was happy & content.
Becoming a parent
My son was born just shy of my 24th birthday. It was a planned pregnancy & I was so excited to become a parent. I decided to quit my job in order to be a full time mother &, although I faced the challenges all new mums face, it agreed with me. At first.
As time went on, I began to struggle more & more with anxiety.
Family members began telling me that I wasn't the same person anymore &, at times, my relationship suffered. Despite this, I was adamant I could manage it alone.
I struggled for a few years, during which time I had 2 more children, both girls. After my youngest was born, I had an epiphany.
For the past 5 years, I had devoted my life to my children & while I loved them dearly, I realised I had lost who I was as an individual. I no longer had any hobbies, goals or aspirations. I had become a recluse & had lost a lot of friends along the way.
I had no idea who I was outside of being a mum.
Finding myself again through self care
I decided I had to do something to find myself & a sense of identity again. Not only for my wellbeing, but for the sake of my children & husband.
My first step was getting my anxiety under control.
I made an appointment with my doctor & decided on a course of treatment. This was the best thing that could of happened & I wish I would have done it sooner.
With my mind clear & my anxiety under control I started to see myself again as someone other than just a mum. As an avid lover of all things beauty, I decided to adopt the old adage of 'look good, feel good.'
I made it my goal of 2017 to take better care of myself. I invested in some nice skincare & makeup products, tried to get a decent amount of sleep each night & attempted to eat a balanced diet.
It's 9 months into the new year & I have come a long way. I am taking better care of myself & am slowly finding myself again. I am still a work in progress but I now have a sense of who I am & what I want for myself & my family.
Although my goals & aspirations have changed since my early 20s, I am once again happy & content.
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR - EMMA LOU
Emma is a 31-year-old mother from the north coast of New South Wales, Australia.
She has a Bachelors degree in Business (Human Resources & Marketing) but has set aside work for the past 7 years to raise her 3 beautiful children.
Outside of the tears, tantrums & joy that is motherhood, Emma enjoys cooking, home decor & all things beauty related.