When Your Fear is Bigger Than Your Dream
We all have imperfections, & a lot of times these imperfections stand in the way of achieving our goals, or pursuing our dreams. But why?
Why are we so wrapped up with negatives & leave out the positive? Why are we questioning ourselves to the point where we run away instead of run towards what we want most? Answering these questions is what helped me turn my life around.
My Story Overcoming Fear
Growing up with Scars
I grew up in Bosnia with physical imperfections that have been caused by 3rd degree burns on my right arm & leg. This happened to me as a young child. Luckily I don’t remember the pain I endured but I remember bullies & the struggle to accept my body while growing up.
Most of these traumatic events contributed to my low self-esteem & internal suppression. Because my family has moved around a lot during the Balkan War in the 90’s, none of my traumatic experiences were properly dealt with. In fact, our main worry was survival. My parents didn't have time to worry about proper child development when they were struggling to put food on the table. Anyway, this is another story on it’s own.
Moving to The United States
When we finally settled in the United States & started feeling somewhat safe, I had other issues to face: fitting in as a foreigner at new schools, learning the language, & I was desperate to belong & be a part of community. At this point I was a teenager & I was struggling with everything any teenage girl is struggling with - acceptance & being “cool”.
I don’t know how, but I survived that. I started to get somewhat comfortable in my new environment & I started to dream like all young people do. I remember one of my dreams was to become a well known model. Why? Because a modeling scout at the mall had told me I could. To me that meant the world considering the physical imperfections I had to grow up with.
But even with that dream, as a teenager I was not strong enough to pursue it. I let my fear take over & I kept on hiding my burn scars.
A lot of time has passed and I forgot about becoming a model. I went into bigger world, becoming independent, educating myself & finding myself elsewhere. Things that I had suppressed all these years have started to surface & I had to really deal with it. I had to fight the demons within myself.
I brought upon myself many challenges to face; from the physical, to the mental. I began training & running a marathon, traveling the world, taking challenging adventures as well as seeking professional help. Until it brought me here to this chapter of my life - revealing my scars to inspire & encourage others. Which is exactly where I need to be.
Letting Go of Fear to Inspire Others
My passion has been awakened & it is more rewarding than anything else I had learned through my struggles. I am finally a model, not in exact way I once dreamed but I am open to possibilities.
I no longer FEAR the outcome, positive or negative. I have learned that, unless I put myself out there, there is nothing to gain. But if I do put myself out there, I can gain a lesson or, I will find success.
My scars are a daily reminder to say NO TO FEAR! You don't have to have answers to everything as long as you start asking them, let your curiosity discover the rest.
Indira Husic, Burn Survivor
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About The Authors - Indira Husic
Throughout her life, many people have asked Indira how she got the scars that mark her body. In the past, Indira has replied with statements like "I was attacked by a shark", "I was a volunteer firefighter", or even "I saved a dog from a fire". The truth, however, might seem slightly more mundane but is just as harrowing & profound.
When Indira was 6-month-old, she suffered 3rd degree burns when she accidentally flipped a tray of hot coffee onto herself while her mother directed a delivery person on what to do with a truck load of soil they were delivering.
Indira's mother immediately rushed her to the hospital & was sent to another hospital in Croatia. Indira would spend the next two months of her life receiving treatment in this Croatian hospital.
Today, Indira is a thriving young woman who can't remember the pain of what she went through as a baby. What is very clear in her mind, however, are the struggles of growing up as, not only a burn survivor, but a Bosnian immigrant who moved to the United States without knowing the language or how to fit in. With these struggles clear in her mind, Indira shares her story to help others on their journey.