The Day That I Gave Up On Online Dating

In these frivolous, reckless & somewhat selfish times, our generation remains caught in one constant - The web that is online dating.

After giving apps & dating a decent crack the proof is not in the ‘algorithm’ but in the knowing exactly what it is one wants from a potential partner & taking the leap to live life without chasing that. 

My Experience With The World of Online Dating

Being Clear & Honest About my Relationship Goals

Take myself for example. I’ve dabbled with the online world of swipes, likes, smiles, super likes & matches for a good eight months & the one thing I learnt is that the majority of these males are mismatches for me & my relationship goals. I had it stuck in my head that, to find my ideal man, I needed to chase him down & turns out that backfired, every time.

If that’s not disheartening, I don’t know what is! 

In a society that tells us what we should look like, what we should want & what we should & shouldn’t feel, it’s no wonder that we ladies feel a constant pressure to ‘put ourselves out there,’ or ‘meet new people,’ to broaden our dating horizons.

It's Like Hunting for a Needle in a Stack of Needles

While online dating does this & has been successful for many people, it has led me to lose faith in finding that unicorn guy. That unicorn guy that will not bail at the first sign of the ‘r’ word (relationship), that unicorn guy that will want to spend time with me to get to know me, that unicorn guy that will want to introduce me to his friends & family, & that very same unicorn guy that will respect me, unlike many males before him.

What is a unicorn guy, you ask & why am I using this term to describe the ideal male? A unicorn guy is the perfect man for you. He ticks the majority of your checklist & he’s damn hot. So this unicorn then becomes a fantasy.

So unbelievable. Until, one day he magically appears. 

Keep Searching & Never Settle

I refuse to be a damsel in distress anymore & wait around for my unicorn. I refuse to settle for someone that ticks only half my checklist. I refuse to believe that a genuine, honest, witty & loyal person like me cannot find someone who values & wants these qualities in a partner. I refuse to be a spinster caught in the online dating web any longer. I’m over being disappointed & feeling alone, despite the barrage of short lived eligible suitors I have spent time with. 

What I learned From Online Dating

So ladies, here are my tips & what I've learnt from the superficiality that is online dating.

In an age where we ladies are told to fill that burning void we feel by finding a man, maybe, just maybe we are missing the point. Maybe, we need to fill that void with finding ourselves. Making your life about you. Loving yourself. Loving your life. Following your dreams. Chasing your happiness. No one else's. Yours.

Don’t forget, your unicorn exists. He will find you with or without that damn world wide web.

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The Essential Life Contributor

About The Author - Bianca Garzia

Bianca Garzia is from Melbourne, Australia. She is a self proclaimed puppy lover, with an addiction to buying chick lit.

Her poetry will take you on a journey, through dark & light, love & lust. Her poems are about raw, real life experiences described through the on point articulation of her emotions. She aims to inspire others to heal, grow & love through the difficult times life can bring and in addition, raise awareness of mental health through her words.

You can connect with Bianca & read her poetry on Facebook & Instagram.