Places & Putting Things Where They Belong
I am not me. I am you & I am the way you look at me. I am the words that you use when you speak to me. I am the way you treat me & the attention that you pay to me. I am the time that you spend in my company. I am the faith that you have in me. All of this is external to me & all of it dependant on you. My self-esteem, my strength of character, the value of my humanity - all of it rests in your eyes. In your eyes I am nothing, so I am nothing.
The Correlation Between Self Esteem & Judgement
I can know only what I feel. I feel your words like razor blades - so smooth at first, but they leave me stinging. As I lick my wounds, I feel you going 'round & 'round in my head, all the times you forgot about me, cutting me again & again - deeper & deeper. I cannot keep up with the holes you that you punch into me.
I look beyond myself. I look at myself as others see me, & I don't understand how this is me. This cannot be me. The me that I feel is big, she is mighty, she is talented & she is wise. She cares immeasurably & loves with abandon. The me that I feel has gifts, talents & a purpose. She dreams big & gives her all for those dreams.
Broken by Words
In those dreams lies only disappointment. The girl that I am is grasping at straws & your eyes have told me this. Her dreams are just taunts, flashes of what it would be like to reach heights too high for the girl you know me to be.
You know me to be nothing.
I am nothing.
Thanks to you I have found my place in this world.
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