10 Truths From the Sister of a Single Mother
If you’re a sister of a single mom you need to read this.
You have a front row seat into an incredible transformation. Not only are you riding shotgun, but you’re passing the wipies & keeping Stinker in the back from crying. From the day she called you with the news to the late night sleepovers, you were all in whether you wanted to or not. Here are 10 Truths from a Single Mother’s Sister.
What it's Like Being the Sister of a Single Mother
You will never forget the day she told you the news
Surprise or no surprise, let’s be honest... it probably was a surprise. Just when you thought you heard it all, you got the call. I remember the tears that came next & all of the emotions in between. To be completely honest, you didn’t know what to say; you both were excited, frightened, confused, sad, angry, & ecstatic. Even though there were so many questions to ask, there was mostly just silence, hugs & tears - because deep down you both knew that things were about to change.
You were the first to volunteer as “birthing-partner”
...& if you were lucky you didn’t actually have to do it - *thanks emergency c-section!* This includes reading all the books, listening to all of the podcasts (who knew there were so many), & perhaps attending a birthing class or two.
Let’s just say that my life changed when I found myself holding those crazy breast pumps to my sister’s tatas after her delivery. Literally - no one should ever witness how those work before their time has come.
When picking up Stinker from daycare you make it VERY obvious that you’re the aunt
“Hi - I’m THE AUNT! Where’s my NIECE! Hahaha. It’s my first time here where do I find that cutie anyways! She’s the one that looks exactly like me.”
Not to mention taking a good 30-45 mins making sure the car seat was in the right direction. Talk about stress sweating. I swear there had to be instructions somewhere on that hunk of plastic. Even after watching a few youtube videos, you still didn’t believe it was the right direction & you called your sister anyways. Promptly providing her with even more stress & anxiety about picking up Stinker for the first time.
Better safe than sorry...Am I right?!
You’ve considered quitting your job & moving in permanently
In theory, you could handle it. Take it easy, take some naps, eat chicken nuggets & macaroni every day. What’s all the stress about anyways?
Don’t speak so soon...
Let’s not forget about that week you decided to babysit while your sister went out of town. It was all fun & games up until you were woken up at 4am every night & by day seven you couldn’t handle one more episode of Sofia the First. By this time you were running out of songs to sing & books to read & you never actually took a nap!
Having dinner dates with your sister are just the ______...You fill in the blank
So long deep conversation.
Ha, what were you thinking! It’s like going to eat with a monkey! If you make it through the whole dinner, Congrats! I’m not even sure if that is an accomplishment? Dinner Dates sounded like a great idea, but then you realized that you’ll need to get a little more creative next time or maybe those high chairs just need more straps. Everything ended up on the ground, someone smelled like farts & we forgot to drink our wine!
Dating….Been there...done that App!
Whatever your potion is: Tinder, Bumble, EHarmony; you name it & & we’ve done it. Dating a single mother is a double edged sword. 1) You didn’t show enough interest in her child or 2) You showed too much interest in her child & not enough to her. If you could write your sister’s bio it would definitely have the line “Makes freaking adorable babies & is pretty good at it too!”
You’re dying for the day she gets married
I mean come on, everyone loves the weddings when little Stinker gets to throw rose petals or carry the ring! It hurts my heart just thinking about it. Although no one could ever truly replace you as a sister, this person has huge shoes to fill. You will not settle for anything less than perfect because you know just how much your sister & her child deserve it.
You know how hard your sister is trying
Featured on The Essential Life
From the phone calls to the late night sleep-overs, you know that your sister’s heart is so full of love for that child. She will do, buy, cook, or knit anything & everything it takes to provide a better, house, couch, jammies, or organic rice cereal for her family. The perseverance & determination your sister has is literally the reason a human could lift a car off the ground. It all makes sense now...& you as her sister have witnessed it all.
You wish you could do more. So. Much. More.
Life has alway taught us to have empathy for others, but there is no feeling in the world that is more tough than wanting to be there for your sister in her darkest times. The struggle to find the right words at the right time; the pain you feel when you can’t give her a hug because you live thousands of miles away & the heart ache from another upset phone call of a relationship coming to an end. If there is one wish in this world it is for all of life’s violent turmoil to skip her every once in awhile.
You cry….all the time. Whether you are together or apart
There are many different type of tears. The tears that come from pure joy when Stinker brings home her first mother’s day card. The tears that begin when you’re too far away to give her a hug. The tears that continue when literally life hits the fan & you have no more advice to give. The tears you see from the disappointment she sees in herself & your own tears that try to find the words to heal her again. You have always seen just how magnificent & beautiful she is & how she has blossomed into as a new mother & you can only wish for an ounce of what she’s made of.
If you haven’t already hugged your sister today, let this be your reminder & if you connected with this post give it a share.
A Message From The Essential Life
If you have anything that you would like to add to the conversation, or if you have any questions or comments, please make yourself heard in the comments - we're listening. You can also connect with The Essential Life directly by contacting us here.
We would also like to invite YOU to shape the future of The Essential Life by becoming one of our guest bloggers. If you would like to share your knowledge, or your story with The Essential Life community & you'd like to see your articles featured here on our website, please submit your articles here.
Each blogs & articles that you share on the Essential Life will be attributed to you. We also include your bio & links to your website & social media with each article that you publish on The Essential Life. In addition, The Essential Life works tirelessly to support all of our contributors by promoting you on our own social media.